The View From My Knees

As I’m sure many of you have already heard, May is National Masturbation Month. What? You hadn’t heard? Well, get your hand out of your pants and get over to StopTheWarOnMasturbation.com to read the Masturbation Manifesto. No, wait. It would probably be more appropriate if you left your hand right where it is while you read it.

In any case, I’ve decided to follow StopTheWar’s lead and hold my own Masturbation Drive. I call it Diddling For Dollars. Classy, eh?

The way it works is simple: You leave a comment on this post to pledge money for each minute I masturbate in the month of May. Keep in mind when making your pledge that those masturbation minutes can really add up for a horny vixen like me. You’re welcome to just pledge a flat donation, as well. At the end of the month, I’ll tally up the total and collect the funds. The money will be donated to Scarleteen, a fantastic organization dedicated to providing teens with the real world sexual education that our government and schools have failed to provide them with misguided abstinence-only initiatives.

I suppose that basing the pledges on how much I masturbate puts a little pressure on me to make sure I spend a decent amount of next month paddling the pink canoe, but I’m willing to suffer through it for a good cause. And, as if helping a worthy cause isn’t enough of an incentive, I’m going to throw you an extra bone. If we can raise more than $1000 for our cause, I’ll give you a special edition of my podcast in June in which I’ll let you hear exactly what I’ve been doing with myself all month in the privacy of my bedroom (or my computer desk, or the bathroom stall at work, or in my car during rush hour traffic). So, if you want to hear just how much fun I have when I Tiptoe Through the TwoLips, be sure to tell all of your friends to get over here and pledge! And check back often because I’ll be updating this post with a running tally of my masturbation sessions.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a taco to tickle and some money to raise…

• [5/8 8:38pm] – 5 Min. – This one was just a quickie. I got myself a little worked up while reading my Double Feature Fantasy post, so I had to go take care of it. But I was hungry and needed to make dinner soon, so I didn’t waste any time with formalities.
• [5/12 7:30pm] – 40 Min. – This was a fun one. I popped in Milf Seekers and had some fun with myself and my pink friend while the L.B. watched. Oh, don’t worry. After I was done with myself I made sure he got some satisfaction, as well.
• [5/15 8:42pm] – 5 Min. – L.B. is out with friends. I had just finished a workout and I just love the way my naked body feels when it’s all sweaty. I stripped off my workout gear and had a quickie.
• [5/16 3:06pm] – 5 min. – I got all worked up at work reading this post so I had to excuse myself to the bathroom for a few minutes.
• [5/23 7:50pm] – 10 min. – Reminiscing with a friend over IM about the time I sucked his delicious pierced cock got me all worked up. I pulled up some pics of pierced penises (thanks google image search!) and relieved my desire.

Total: 65 Min.