The View From My Knees

I’m just an average girl. I live in Seattle and occasionally take out the garbage in my pajamas. I listen to punk rock music and talk radio podcasts on my MP3 player, and carry around a tattered notebook. I probably stand out in the crowd a little with my messy dreadlocks and eclectic style, but most probably wouldn’t expect the kind of naughty things that run through my mind. The commuter sitting next to me on the bus probably doesn’t know that I’m madly scribbling about the threesome that I had that weekend, or that I’m using all of my willpower not to slide my hand down my pants as I recall every dirty detail.

Yes, I am constantly preoccupied with sex. Maybe it’s because I’m in my sexual prime, but I think that I’ve always been this way. In the 5th grade, I snuck into my friend’s basement with her to look at her dad’s issues of Penthouse. In middle school, I discovered my parents’ copy of The Joy of Sex and began experimenting with the boys. In high school, I finally went all the way, discovered the joys of oral sex, and gained an appreciation of the female form. And you’ve already read about all of the good times I started having after high school, from my first threesome to my first girl-kiss. Yes, sex has always been on my mind.

Despite my lifelong interest in sex, I don’t think I truly embraced my sexuality until my late 20′s. At first, I tried to conform to society’s idea of the normal life: Working 9 to 5, marrying the nice guy from my hometown, living in a modest house in a nice neighborhood where parents still allow their children to play in the streets, and lounging with the dog in the back yard. For the most part, I thought that my life was going just fine. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted more out of life, even if I wasn’t sure exactly what it was that I wanted.

So I left my husband and started a new life on my own. Today, my life is drastically different than it was just 5 years ago. I still live in the same city, but I’ve traded in my house in the suburbs for a place in one of the busiest and most eccentric neighborhoods in the area. The only friend I kept from my old life was my dog, and I am closer to my new circle of friends than any I’ve ever had. I live with my very open-minded husband in a very unconventional relationship. I’m acting on my sexuality without restrictions or boundaries, and I’m having the time of my life. I’m open and honest with everyone I know, but especially with myself and with you, my readers.

I began writing this blog in December of 2005 as a way to combine my love of writing and the affirmation of my sexuality. In writing this blog, I’ve learned more about myself and my motivations than I ever could have imagined. I’ve also enjoyed getting to know others like myself from around the world. I like knowing that you enjoy my writing and get off on my stories.

To be honest, I don’t know where my life is heading, and I don’t know where I’ll be a year from now. But I do know I’ll keep writing about it, so I guess we’ll just have to find out together.