The View From My Knees

Original photo by Lucky

A few weeks ago I advised reader Alphaboy on a problem he was having convincing his girlfriend to give him blowjobs more often. I’ve posted a little bit on his progress since then, and it sounds like he’s had some success. Recently, however, Alphaboy sent me a followup that got me so hot I could barely keep my hands off myself. He’s allowed me to share his story with you, so I hope you enjoy the final installment of Alphaboy’s progress:

I guess the quick update is that your idea was pretty much the best idea ever. Well, in the history of my sex life at least lol. It hasn’t really translated into more head per se, my girlfriend hasn’t really come around to suddenly loving to give head (which I didn’t think would happen anyway), but we have played the game with the remote panties a few times. Which means she’s sucked my cock a few times. Which is a brilliant development.

And now to the more detailed version. I grabbed the panties on my lunchbreak on a Friday, which was a bit risky- all afternoon I was terrified someone at work would open my bag and find them. But then it also meant that I thought about my girlfriend wearing them all afternoon. Which of course made me incredibly horny.

So I met my girlfriend after work for a few drinks, and gave her a sneaky peak into my bag to show her that I had bought them. Having a few drinks, and approaching it like this, kept it lighthearted, which was good. So anyway, we finally got home, both a little tipsy… kissing and touching, hands going everywhere as soon as we got in the door. Things progressed for awhile without even thinking of the panties, kissing and grinding against eachother. We eventually ended up naked, my fingers were working over her clit as she stroked and rubbed my cock, when I finally remembered the panties and came up for air to ask if she wanted to give them a try… Which she did. So we unpacked it and got it all worked out and she put them on, which did kill the momentum a little bit, as you probably know. But at this stage, we were both so into things it didn’t matter too much.

We were positioned with my girlfriend on her back, on the bed, with me sort of standing over her. I was of course in control, so I turned them on low and she jumped a little, not expecting it. She obviously enjoyed it though, because her first words were “oh wow”… I kept it on low for a little, stroking my cock slowly as I watched her enjoying the vibrations. Still stroking my cock, I knelt beside her and took a nipple in my mouth, sucking and biting… as I suddenly flicked it up a notch. This made her jump again and gasp, this time all she said was “fuck”… I stood, and as I stroked my cock, I rubbed my cockhead over her tits, smearing my precum over her nipple, and then smacking my hard cock down on it. She was moaning quite a bit now, and moing on the bed, so I thought it would be a good time to turn it back down. And of course she wanted it back up higher, so I teased her a little and turned it up and down, and even off for a little bit… Until she said “ok ok, give me your cock, stop fucking teasing me” lol. So I moved right up beside her, still standing as she lay on her back… She turned her head and I pushed my cock into her mouth. As I did, I turned the panties back on, on low… Her tongue flicked over my cockhead and up the underside, eventually just sucking on the head a little. I pushed in a little deeper, and her mouth opened for me. Fuck it felt good feeling her warm, wet mouth on my cock, and it’s making me hard as I write this so I’m trying to concentrate lol! I didn’t wait long to turn the panties back up to medium, and she immediately moaned on my cock. Her hands were massaging her tits, pinching and pulling on her nipples. Her moans vibrated around my cock and felt amazing. At this point, we were both completely in the moment. I started talking to her more, saying things like “that’s right baby, suck my cock”, telling her how hot she looked, asking if the panties felt good, if she was going to be a good girl and cum for me etc etc… I suddenly turned them up higher, and she really growled into my cock which was so fucking hot. She was just concentrating completely on her impending orgasm pretty much, which left me to basically work my cock in and out of her mouth as she moaned and writhed on the bed. I put one hand on the back of her head as I pushed in deeper, didn’t push too deep, but was fucking her mouth nicely… I turned it back down just to tease her a little, then brought it back up to high which pushed her over the edge. When she came she really sucked on my cock hard, and her hands grabbed my ass and pulled me right into her…. God it was hot. I turned the panties off to give her a break, and she jerked me until I came all over her tits.

So yeah, it worked. The panties were a really fun idea, and raising that idea with me getting more head kept a possibly touchy subject lighthearted. And she enjoyed the panties, I enjoyed head, so a great result. The few more times we’ve used it I honed the skill of teasing I think, to the point where she’s been begging to suck my cock so I turn the vibrations on or up… Which is like the hottest thing ever. So yeah… waddya think?

I think you two are hot, that’s what I think! And I’m going to get myself a pair of those panties…

Dear Misty,
What should I look for as warning signs before performing oral on someone?

I’m not a doctor. Hell, I’ve never even fucked a doctor. All I am is a girl that like to have a lot of sex, a girl who likes to read about sex, and a girl who likes to write about sex. That said, I’m also a girl who likes to do a little research on the Internet. Your question is something that I personally think about from time to time, as well. We’re all adults here, so by now we know that oral sex is not without risks. STI’s can be contracted via oral sex. And, just like with vaginal and anal sex, simply looking for telltale signs on your partner isn’t going to protect you. Many, if not most, STI’s are not symptomatic, or have symptoms that can easily be mistaken for something else so that you or your partner may not even realize an infection is present. The real answer? Just use protection. Every time. Period.

But you’re not going to, are you? No matter how many times we’re told that there is risk of infection from oral sex, most of us continue to believe that it won’t happen to us. Sure there’s risk, but it’s so small I don’t really have to worry about it. I always use condoms for anal and vaginal sex, so I’m safe. Well, here are a few facts that might make you think twice:

Herpes can be easily transmitted via oral sex

The transmission of herpes requires no fluids, only skin to skin contact. And, while the risk of transmission is highest during an outbreak, the virus can be present in the skin when no sores are present.

Go Ask Alice: Oral sex and herpes — a triple header

Oral STI’s can cause cancer

HPV, an extremely common STI that can cause genital warts and cervical cancer, has been linked to throat and oral cancer in partners of infected individuals. Although there is a vaccine for this virus that has been approved for women, there is no cure and currently there is no test or vaccine available for men.

About.com: The Role of HPV in Throat and Oral Cancers

HIV can be passed via oral sex

You know that HIV is present in semen, but did you also know that it is present in precum? That means that transmission is possible even if the man does not ejaculate in his partner’s mouth. HIV is also present in vaginal fluid. Additionally, cuts or sores in the mouth (even the irritation that can occur from brushing and flossing) increases the risk of transmission both for the giver and receiver.

About.com: HIV and Oral Sex

Alright, alright! We get it. There are risks with oral sex. Now what?

Well, that’s up to you. You know how to protect yourself. Now you just have to decide what risks you’re willing to take.

End of lecture.

Original photo by Lucky

Dear Misty,

This came from a discussion I had with someone in your chat room.

At what point or when does a friends with benifits arrangement become more than a FWB (like a relationship)?

Further how does one tell that one is not just being used in a FWB situation?

 
 
The Friends with Benefits (FWB) relationship can be a wonderfully symbiotic relationship. You can hang out, have a few drinks, and laugh. You can satisfy each other’s most devious desires without fear of being judged. Or you can just get in a quick fuck without all the usual song and dance. Sometimes this kind of relationship is filler between romances, and sometimes it’s an arrangement that goes on for years. However, while it may seem like the perfect solution for some friends, for others it’s like playing with fire. The real question is whether that fire is something that will burn up everything in its path or stay hot and steamy for good.

Any time you introduce sex into a relationship – whether it’s a romantic date, a good friend, or a one night stand – there is potential for unexpectedly intense feelings and that could cause problems if both parties are not on the same page. So, how can you tell if/when aFWB is turning into more than just a friend? You talk about it. If you’re starting to feel a romantic attachment to your FWB it’s your responsibility to yourself and your friendship to address it. If he or she is feeling the same way then you’ve gotten it out in the open and you can move on to something even better without a lot of wondering and guessing. If not, it’s better to get it all out there and figure out how to deal with these emotions so that you don’t get hurt and ruin the friendship entirely. Additionally, if you like things the way they are but start to suspect that yourFWB is getting more emotionally involved in the arrangement than you’d prefer it’s up to you to bring it up. Otherwise, he or she will begin to resent you for not falling into a relationship model that hasn’t been discussed and the two of you will never make it out to the other side with your friendship still in tact. Yes, sometimes situations like these will mean that you lose you “benefits,” but sometimes it’s the only way to keep the friendship. There are plenty of other places to get your rocks off, but good friends are hard to find.

Your second question can be solved with a bit of common sense. First off, let’s be honest about something. If you’re in a FWB relationship, you are being used. As a matter of fact, you are using each other. And you’re doing it with each other’s permission. That’s what’s so great about it. You’ve already established that, for whatever reason, you don’t want to be in a relationship with each other, but that’s no reason not to help each other out with some of those carnal needs. So get over this concept of being “used.” You are both getting something out of the arrangement, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it. If, however, you’re not getting what you want out of the relationship then it’s up to you to ask for what you want outright. If he or she doesn’t want to or can’t give it to you then just go back to being friends and stop looking for something that just isn’t there.

Photo submitted by Fingers and Tuesday

Do you remember the other week when Alphaboy and I discussed his little blowjob problem? If you haven’t already, I encourage you to go read our exchange. The jist is that he wished his girlfriend would blow him more often, but was afraid to ask for fear of sounding like just another demanding selfish dude. Poor guy.

After our talk, he had a conversation with his girlfriend and sent an update:

…Just thought I would follow on from the comment I left on the site, with some details of the progress I’ve made so far, pretty much all based on your advice.

I guess the developments have come down to some good communication. I brought the topic up the other night with her, and it was just after we’d had sex, so we were lying in bed, both nice and naked and sweaty and relaxed and in that nice right-after-sex stage. I tried to be as casual as I could when I brought it up, and I can’t even remember what the topic was on, but I think I did ok with it, cos she didn’t get angry. I asked why she didn’t like to do it, and the best detail I could get out of her was ‘I just don’t like it… I don’t really like doing it that much’. She said she hadn’t done it much with past boyfriends, it had never really been part of her repertoir so to speak, so I think that makes it a little more understandable.

Let me break in here to point out something Alphaboy did exactly right. He waited until right after they’d had sex, instead of bringing it up just before. Talking about it before sex may have put some pressure on her regarding the outcome of the talk. If she decided she was going to try it more often, she would be expected to do it right then. But bringing it up afterward, when they were both relaxed and loving, took all the pressure off and let them talk about it casually.

Anyway, I tried to make it clear that I actually really, really like getting head. I told her how good her mouth feels on my cock, how hot she looks moving on it, when I can feel my cock go a little deeper… I told her I understood where she was coming from, but that it is actually something I would like more of, maybe as a treat to me sort of thing. We don’t have to do it all the time, maybe just every now and then, something nice to make me feel good. I then tried your tactic sort of, and asked if there was anything more I could do, to make her feel good, something special for her. Maybe a sort of trade type scenario- she gives me head, I do whatever. But there wasn’t really anything more that she wanted, she said she’s happy with everything, enjoys the sex a lot, loves when I go down on her etc… And that’s where it sort of finished.

But it got the ball rolling, and another development came last night. Which is kind of weird and funny in the same way, I think. We went to the movies and ended up seeing ‘The Ugly Truth’, with Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler I think the guy’s name is (not sure if it’s out over there- I’m in Australia, so I’m sure we’re behind you guys). Anyway, don’t see it, crap movie, but there’s one scene where Heigl’s character is wearing vibrating panties… and I immediately thought ‘that’s so fucking weird, I was just looking at these on the net’ (that was just in my head, btw). So we were talking about the movie after, and that scene came up, and we were laughing about it, and I just said ‘how bout I get you some of those as a treat?’ I thought she would just laugh it off, but she laughed and said ‘ok- you buy them, I’ll wear them for you’. We both laughed and joked about it. So I pushed it a little further, and said ‘how bout you have that treat, and maybe I can have some of the treat we talked about the other night- we could even do it at the same time, that could be fun.’ And yes, she agreed that could be fun, so there you go!

haha I think it has worked out amazingly well so far- I guess I didn’t go with the exact way we spoke about, but I think I’ve ended up with the same result. So now I just have to buy them…

I’m really glad you’ve made such good progess so far, Alphaboy. And definitely keep me posted on what happens next. Epecially if you get those panties!

Today in the chat room Alphaboy asked my advice on a little problem he’s having with his girlfriend and I thought I’d share our conversation with all of you. I’m sure we’d both love to hear from any of you that have advice or experience with this issue, so leave your comments below.

Alphaboy: hmmm… are you available to give out some advice?
MistyKaye: always
Alphaboy: great
Alphaboy: well… I’ll probably just sound like some ‘typical guy’ here, which I most certainly think I’m not…
Alphaboy: but… I have a girlfriend, and everything is fantastic, apart from… I would like to get more head
MistyKaye: Does she do it at all?
Alphaboy: very, very occasionally
MistyKaye: Have you told her you want it more?
Alphaboy: well, I have brought it up, but not as a serious topic
Alphaboy: I don’t really want to make it a serious issue
MistyKaye: What happens when you bring it up? Does she have a problem with giving head?
Alphaboy: she just says she doesn’t really like it
Alphaboy: and I never push the issue, so it sort of just ends there
MistyKaye: hm
MistyKaye: It would be helpful to find out what she doesn’t like about it
Alphaboy: yeah
MistyKaye: If it’s because she doesn’t get any physical pleasure out of it, there’s always 69.
Alphaboy: that’s true
Alphaboy: and I should add that I go down on her, a lot
MistyKaye: Or a fun game would be to get a pair of those remote controlled panties (pricey, but fun) and every time she’s making your cock feel really good you give her a buzz with the remote
MistyKaye: I just thought of that and it’s making me kinda horny just thinking about it!
Alphaboy: damn that does sound like a fun game
Alphaboy: actually made me a little hard thinking about it! haha
MistyKaye: Experimenting with flavored lubes and stuff could be fun, too
MistyKaye: (and would help if taste is an issue she is concerned about)
Alphaboy: has taste ever been an issue for you giving head?
MistyKaye: not that I can remember
Alphaboy: I thought if it was something like taste, she would have told me
Alphaboy: maybe it needs to be asked directly, I don’t know
MistyKaye: Yeah, I think communication is the first step to solving this problem
Alphaboy: I feel like a bit of a dick for bringing it up tho, you know?
Alphaboy: like I’m just some typical guy that wants his dick sucked
MistyKaye: If you get your point across as “it’s so hot when you give me head and it feels so good” as opposed to “you don’t do this enough for me” it would be better
MistyKaye: It can be a stretch, but trying to make it more about her than you helps. Like how good she is at it, how sexy she looks while she’s doing it, etc.
Alphaboy: hmmm that’s true
Alphaboy: and god it is so so sexy watching her with her lips wrapped around my cock
MistyKaye: yup, it’s a nice image
Alphaboy: do girls get the same sort of thrill looking down at a guy like that?
MistyKaye: Sometimes
Alphaboy: that remote controlled panties idea is still in my head lol
MistyKaye: hehe, I like it, too!
MistyKaye: I might have to go pick up a new pair
Alphaboy: would be a fine balance though.. too much pleasure for her, not enough cock sucking… haha
Alphaboy: oh ok, well thanks for the advice Misty, I really appreciate it