Would you say you had sex if…
(safe for work version)
I love taking surveys. I love taking surveys about sex even more. And I love taking surveys about sex from reputable research groups that will use the information for improvements on sexual communication, health, and education most of all.
That said, you all should participate in this survey by the Kinsey Institute:
* If you are over 18, we’d like to know your use of the term “had sex..” The purpose of the “Had Sex” study is to investigate how people use the term “had sex” and some of the factors that may affect people’s attitudes about this. * If you are a man at least 18 years old, and have used a condom for vaginal intercourse with a woman within the past 30 days, you can fill out the condom survey online. The purpose of this study is to collect information concerning condom use errors and problems of men who use a condom for penile-vaginal intercourse and the effects erectile enhancing drugs may have on them.
The Had Sex survey brings up a fun discussion topic. Listening to a lot of Loveline has shown me that teenagers today have very different thresholds than I do. Of course, when you’re at the beginning of your sexual life and you’re struggling with things like virginity, reputation, and morality, I suppose it’s understandable to try to draw the lines a little differently than those of us that have been around the block a few times. At what point do you say you’ve “had sex” with someone? Kissing? Manually stimulating their genitals or anus? Orally stimulating their genitals or anus? Anal sex? Using sex toys? And is it different if you’re talking about a man vs a woman?
For me, it does change when I’m talking about sex with a man versus sex with a woman:
With a woman, I’ll probably say we’ve had sex if I’ve fingered her. I’ll definitely say I’ve had sex with her if we’ve gone down on each other. And if we’ve used sex toys on each other, I think that also qualifies as “having sex.”
With a man, I’d definitely say we had sex if we had vaginal or anal sex. I may say we’ve had sex if we’ve had oral sex. But if all we’ve done is stimulate each other with our hands, I’d probably just refer to it as “fooling around.”
Boy, all this talk about having sex with men and women makes me want to…um…have sex with men and women!
