Explosive
April 14th, 2009
Original photo by Lucky
Even the most passionate of love affairs can be sundered by a simple lack of respect. It doesn’t matter if the sex is explosive if the rest of the relationship is volatile. We’ve all seen these relationships, whether it’s your friend who can’t resist getting back together with his crazy ex every time she shows up at 3am, or your coworker who can’t leave her loser boyfriend because “deep down” they “love each other so much.” Maybe you’ve even been in one of these relationships yourself. Maybe you’re in one right now. No matter how obvious it is to everyone around them, the participants in this type of relationship can’t – won’t – see it for what it really is. It’s just too easy to mistake passion for love, and it often takes an explosion to make it clear.
Lucky rescued me from one of these relationships.
I’d become fed up with my relationship, my friends, and my life. I was tired of all the fighting, the crying, and the guilt trips. I was tired of my so-called friends taking sides and leaving me out in the cold. I needed to start fresh and meet new people. I needed to surround myself with people that loved me despite my flaws, and even admitted to a few of their own. So I decided to start looking. I joined an online group for movie lovers in my area. Once a month, the group would get together to see a movie. At our first meeting, I noticed Lucky right away. I recognized his name from the group’s message board and already knew I loved his sense of humor, but now I could see how cute he was and what a friendly nature he had about him. We didn’t talk much at the first gathering. I was with my jealous boyfriend, and even though we were in an open relationship, I couldn’t risk paying too much attention to another man without starting a fight. But I knew I had to find a way to get to know him better.
Eventually, I saw my opportunity. Knowing that the rest of the group, including my boyfriend, didn’t like horror movies, I posted to the message board to ask if anyone would like to plan an unofficial group outing to the Amityville remake that would be opening in theaters soon. Just as I’d hoped, Lucky was the only taker. It wasn’t long before we’d exchanged contact information and were chatting over IM on a daily basis. But the movie didn’t turn out to be our first date. One day, as we were chatting online, I mentioned to him that another group I belonged to was meeting that evening at one of my favorite vegetarian restaurants. Based on the RSVP’s I’d seen, it looked as though I might be stuck having a one-on-one dinner with a creepy guy from the group that had really rubbed me the wrong way (not literally) at the last group event. Lucky offered to join me so that I wouldn’t be stuck by myself with the douchebag, and I breathed a sign of relief.
As I sat at the restaurant that evening, anxiously awaiting his arrival, I began to grow nervous. I remembered that I’d thought he was cute, but for some reason I couldn’t actually remember what he looked like (Lucky finds this part of the story extremely amusing). What if I didn’t think he was so cute the second time around? And, even though we hadn’t officially called this a date, what if I’d set up expectations that I might not be able to fulfill? I assured myself that everything would turn out okay, and I busied myself checking out the restaurant’s tea list.
When Lucky finally arrived, I realized I’d been worried for nothing. He was even cuter than I’d hoped, and just as sweet and funny as he’d been online during our chat sessions. We had a nice dinner with the group (luckily, a few group members other than Douchebag had managed to make it). It was so nice, in fact, that when it was over I wasn’t ready for it to end. All we’d talked about was dinner, but I didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. So I invited Lucky to join me for a drink at my favorite karaoke bar, just down the street.
We had a great time at the bar, scooting just a little bit closer with every drink. He wowed me, and the rest of the bar, with his falsetto rendition of I Believe in a Thing Called Love, and my take on Baby Got Back was also well-received. But finally, it was time to go. Seeing that my car’s gas indicator was on empty, I drove to a nearby gas station and we stretched our legs a little bit while I filled my tank. I took this opportunity to ask him if he wanted me to drive him home, or if he wanted to stay at my place.
“Um,” he stammered. “What would you like?”
I smiled. I thought to myself how adorable it was that he still wasn’t sure whether I liked him. “Well,” I said, stepping closer to him. “If I didn’t want you to spend the night, I wouldn’t have asked you.” And then, for the very first time, we kissed.
Needless to say, Lucky came home with me that night.
Although we continued our daily chatting and had the occasional date after that night, it was some time before we considered ourselves a couple. I was still in a serious(ly flawed) relationship with my boyfriend, and my dates with Lucky were just occasional fun between good friends. But the more Lucky and I saw each other, the more jealous and verbally abusive my boyfriend became. I think he could see how happy Lucky made me, and knew he was in a losing battle. With Lucky, there was no fighting. No jealousy. No guilt trips or silent treatments. No crying. Instead of this constant struggle to make things work, with Lucky…well, things just worked. The lyrics to any love song will try to tell you that love isn’t easy, but falling in love with Lucky was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. He saved me, without even realizing it. All he had to do was to show me how simple love could be. And he did that without even trying.
As my old relationship deteriorated, another one blossomed. Finally, my boyfriend and I broke it off, and I was able to follow my heart. And it led me through 4 of the best years of my life, with the most wonderful man I’ve ever known.
I love you, Lucky, because you make it so easy.
Now that you’ve heard the story of how me and my Lucky Bastard got together, let’s hear about how some you got started in the comments.
